I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
my being single is dangerous.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
