just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
