Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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