I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
It's just like the Real World with babies
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize
