I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
