I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Randomize
