I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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