New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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