found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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