she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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