How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
