I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
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