4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Can you bring me the toilet please
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
