It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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