If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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