Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
