Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
