whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
