Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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