Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Randomize
