Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
