READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
