carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Holy sore nipples Batman
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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