At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Blood and glitter go together right?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
