So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
