So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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