Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
