I got chris browned last night
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
