I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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