Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
