My room smells like vodka and shame
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
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