My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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