So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
