I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
