I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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