I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
