overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
