i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
