we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I deserve this hangover.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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