I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
