Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
