when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Everything about him screamed your future.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
