Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
