McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
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