saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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