Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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