That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
we made out on top of his cat.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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