youre lurking in front of me
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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