Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
