Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
