i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
