Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
