I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
only if we run a train.
done.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
