if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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